Mithril scrubs

An esteemed female cardiologist (who I would die of happiness if she could be my mentor!) recently did a huge favor for me, giving a talk to female med students about the challenges of being a woman in medicine, and especially in male-dominant fields which still includes cardiology.  The point she made was that gender aside, to succeed in medicine you have to work just as hard- or harder- than your colleagues in order to earn their respect.  You may have "girl issues" like wanting to take time off to have a child, but as long as you can hold your own in the workplace, they should still respect you.  So really, just put in 200% and put it farthest from your mind that gender differences still exist.

Now reading a book, "Heart Matters: A memoir of a female heart surgeon" by Kathy E. Magliato, MD, one of my favorite excerpts so far, reveals how the author dealt with the same issue in a different field.

"It took a certain amount of what surgeons like to call testicular fortitude to do this, but it also helped to have a full-metal jacket.

My full-metal jacket was unique to me.  It fit me perfectly because I had constructed it inch by inch.  Tailored, if you will, to conform to my exact shape.  Made of mithril, when I wore it, I was impervious to pain.  My pain.  My patient's pain. The pain of the world around me.  I could take on any challenge without fear of being harmed- I felt nothing. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically. It made me so tough.  It allowed me to survive. The problem was that when I worse this jacket no one could get close to me.  Not my colleagues. Not my patients.  It was if I had a force field around me, and I liked it that way.  The jacket was somewhat versatile.  I could wear it on the outside of my clothing for all to see my virility or wear it on the inside so I just exuded toughness.  The trade-off was that when I wore it, I couldn't be a woman. I couldn't act like a woman. Because weren't women weak?  They certainly weren't surgeons.

When I look back on it now, I realize that I wore that jacket every day for a long, long time- indeed, throughout all of my training as a surgeon. And sometimes, it was the only thing holding me together..."