GRANDE SKINNY WHIPPED UPSIDE DOWN MACCHIATO PLEASE

I think I had a coffee revelation today. I've never really loved coffee. Growing up, my idea of coffee was a 1:1:1 mixture of coffee, creamer and sugar, which I would prepare myself as a 5-year-old at the Fresh Market. (Just a tiny cup, of course, in my mom's defense.)

I prefer the caffe mocha- almost the perfect ratios.

As you get older, it isn't really socially acceptable to be seen putting that much cream and sugar into your coffee. Acceptable colors are black, and "really close to" black.

At first I tried to hide the color in a lidded coffee cup, but the sweet syrupy smell gave me away every time. So I started thinking, how do I get the caffeine, without the coffee? (Even better, without the calories?)

I first came across caffeine supplements like NoDoz during my paramedic days, when I had to stay up for 36 hours at a time. So, for the past few years, I've been taking a quarter of a caffeine pill (that's less than one cup of coffee, but enough to prevent withdrawal headaches because I can't seem to completely wean off of it.)

For some reason, caffeine supplements are still pretty taboo. It isn't 'roids or coke, people, it's caffeine.  It doesn't even compare to what's in one of those Monster drinks.  The other advantage is that I save about four dollars every day because I don't have to buy something at Starbucks (luckily, it IS socially acceptable to have a sickeningly sweet drink from a coffee shop- just had the brilliant idea to buy one of those cheapo new recyclable Starbucks mugs for my concoction, so I seem posh and not broke). Ok also, I'm super lactose intolerant. If I even  sniff milk I'll can feel my GI tract writhe, but that's a topic for another day.

So, back to the original story: this morning I decided to try coffee again. Of course, I had to use my old mixing ratio, but it's actually pretty good. And I actually felt pretty good- especially for a Monday. Then I sat down in the radiology reading room, and remembered that coffee doesn't make you invincible to the effects of darkness. So, back to the pills. Or the IV bag.