UNDEADING

So you're driving down the road, and look ahead to see some idiot slowly crossing the road. My first response has always been utter exasperation and wonder- don't they know they're going to get hit?

This morning when I saw that, I had a revelation: Maybe they just don't care.

I never had this thought before medical school, and it still greatly bothers me when it goes through my head (so don't feel the need to call a shrink on me or anything). But long days, hazing, frequent ridicule and a (relatively) bleak near-future, and suddenly you have the occasional fleeting thought that you might NOT care if a car hits you when you cross the road. I don't think that thought even counts as passive suicidal ideation (again, that might be relative), especially If you're on certain rotations in medical school, like cardiothoracic surgery.

Life can be tough....For those of us fortunate enough to have fewer periods "in the red," it's important to be patient when others might not exude an equal zest for life (ahem, morning people).

I am in NO WAY advocating treating one patient differently than another based on an assumption- because only YOU can judge whether or not you have a good life- but I think it's another dimension that physicians should consider when trying to define someone's quality of life. (A paradox unto itself, probably worth a whole blog entry.)

Unfortunately, may health professionals haven't really experienced this kind of ethereal suffering and hopelessness (the connotation of ethereal here is meant to be negative- I don't know how else to express the deep, intangibility of certain kinds of pain and misery).

Is it a greater sin for a doctor to lose a patient than to revive them for the sole purpose of even more suffering?

If I haven't already induced a depression, I'd like to wrap up on a lighter note.

Watch the YouTube video, The Undeading or just read my summary:

My sister recently sent me this video, in which zombies started attacking a woman, and she collapsed (I assume out of pure terror, as would I). As it was a PSA for CPR, the zombies miraculously revive her, only to attack her and turn her into a zombie (ok it's still a bit depressing, or just comically wry and satirical, depending on your personality).

Clearly it was meant to be a humorous take on the importance of knowing CPR, while bringing up important questions like how the zombies learned CPR ("ACLS for the Apocalypse," anyone?) and what cell provider are they using, because clearly it'll be useful on doomsday.

But that aside, it truly serves as a subtle reminder that not everyone benefits from the mainstream definition of "living."