So in a recent post I mentioned nightmares. I was pleasantly surprised while writing that entry that I hadn't had any within the last week or so, and I thought that since my 3rd year was finally wrapping up that maybe I was on the down-slope of the stress and anxiety.
SO WRONG! After writing that post, that same night, I had another nightmare. I know this is a totally weird topic to do a blog on, but just having finished my psych rotation, and learning about Freudian and Jungian dream interpretation, I felt the need to share how applicable that is AND how much med school is affecting my subconscious.
If you want to know more about the nitty-gritty of psychological dream interpretation, this site is a good place to start. It's honestly pretty fascinating. Anyway, the point is that they both theorized that dreams are/can be manifestations of your subconscious problems, frustrations, etc.
You'll have to research on your own to learn more (highly recommend it!), but back to my nightmare. Like I mentioned, mine usually involve me in life-threatening situations (makes me wonder if I have nightmare disorder because adults aren't supposed to have nightmares much at all).
So this time I was camping with a bunch of med students (so unlikely on every level: I hate camping/outdoorsy things and I don't really hang out with my fellow med students at all outside of class), and all of a sudden there's a huge, ravenous bear tearing through our campsite trying to kill and/or eat us. At first we were all working together to find places to hide or escape, but after a while of having to keep moving and hiding, we all get to the point of "ratting out" other students to save ourselves. It turns into a Hunger Games/Lord of the Flies hybrid but without the gore and without the killing each other part.
I know at one point the bear was kind of also a really evil person and I got caught and somehow escaped (can't remember those details) but I remember running like h*** when I did. It was also nighttime and it was hard to see where you were going but I remember considering the bear having the advantage because it could still smell.
Anyway, this is a pretty obvious example of my (sub)conscious revealing my true feelings of med school: (in the MOST BASIC SENSE) that they're out to get us and that they are (kind of?) pitting students against each other to "survive" (ie get a good residency). I think it's been extra tough lately because I've been told that I don't have the best application for residency and may not ever achieve my lifelong dream of becoming a cardiologist.
I know it's not really like that, and that my school is way better than a lot of others (they really do want to help), and the students, on the med student spectrum, are on the compassionate, normal-people side if that's even possible. Regardless I'm obviously stressed about this whole residency thing!!
Regardless, I'm leaving for a tropical vacation tomorrow for an entire week and hopefully that'll alleviate some of my worries.
On a brighter note, I've been contemplating getting one of these amazing lucid dreaming sleep masks. That's not exactly the one I was looking at - there's a new one being advertised for about $100 and it's made some of the bigger news outlets. I'd never spend that much on a sleep mask (I'd have to try that one out before spending that much!), but it's such an amazing idea. I read about it as a kid and have only been able to lucid dream once or twice (you know, where you're almost awake and can control what you're doing). The mask somehow detects REM sleep and flashes lights so you eventually are supposed to be able to recognize the flashing lights and know that you're dreaming. There are a lot of techniques out there to train yourself to be able to recognize that you're dreaming and this happens to be a sort of "cheat." Anyway, it's pretty neat. If I could do that I'd fly or sit on a beach or something instead of being chased by a bear.
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