What's in a name?

So this isn't 100%, but it looks like I might have found Bandaid's sister and *may* adopt her.  Yes, it's crazy.  Whatever, that decision is not the point of this posting and isn't up for discussion.

So I'm looking for dog names ("Bubbles" is not going to work) and was trying to find something heart-related.  I'm thinking about naming her after a pioneer in cardiology, and the closest to a girl name I've found so far is Adrian (the guy who did the first heart transplant in the US) because no woman has pioneered anything in the field yet (leaving the door open for me).

So anyway I came across this picture, and if you think about it, it's pretty downright stupid. Like three amazingly brilliant surgeons pointing to a really dumbed-down model of a heart.  AND they're looking at the back of the heart, which is much less interesting than the front.

It's such an unlikely scenario and kind of makes you question what they actually knew when they did the first bunch of these surgeries (just fyi, the first bunch were all "considered" successes but died within weeks...but you can judge for yourself).  FOUR DAYS AND IT'S OVER.  Anyway....cheers.

new theory

So my new theory is that being severely obtunded secondary to chronic sleep deprivation during the cardiothoracic surgery rotation is actually a protective mechanism.

I'm exhausted, but I can't remember what I got yelled at for this week.

Empathopenia

A brief commentary on empathy in medical school.

So I keep hearing that empathy dips to the lowest of lows during third year of med school.  I really couldn't figure that one out.  I definitely went through a phase as a paramedic after a few years of 3am paper cuts and back pain for 3 weeks.  So I know what it's like and how to mentally combat it (I was prepared this time!).

Well it hasn't happened yet.  What I HAVE lost is a lot of respect for the medical field.  How freaking sad is that??  I'll have to be unconscious and dying before I show up at a hospital now.

It's definitely not the patients.  Even my most bitter patients still make me smile and laugh; they are a challenge that I honestly enjoy taking on.

Really I think it's seeing my superiors not doing all those things they tell us to ALWAYS do- taking complaints seriously, addressing pain, listening rather than talking, being open-minded.  I know in a lot of cases it's a time constraint (which boils down to a lack of resources) but just as often it's not.  Even if I'm dead on my feet and have been awake for 40 hours, I still put the rest of my energy into making sure I'm being a good med student for my patient.

I think that I now define "successful doctor" (my personal end goal) is one who can put everything else aside and still be 100% committed to the patient's best interest.  When did that stop happening??

You can never practice enough

So my first official surgery that I scrubbed into last week was actually pretty thrilling.  I actually got to participate; I was given opportunities that are usually reserved for residents.  It was tough standing there for 7 hours (mostly because I was preoccupied for most of it worrying about what I would be orally grilled on), but it was amazing to stand there- opposite the surgeon- looking at a man's beating heart.  Although I can't look back and say that I made an "impressive impression" on the surgeons, I feel like I at least gained a little respect.

One thing my mentor taught me is that silence is often the biggest compliment a doctor can give a student.  Handing me the instruments during the surgery, allowing me to help open the patient's chest, was one of the biggest compliments I've gotten so far in my career.

I even got to suture!  Ok, it definitely wasn't my first time.  I'm still pretty slow but it's a skill that I've put some time into developing.  After the surgery one of the surgeons handed me an instrument used for suturing and told me, "you can never get enough practice."

And I'll honestly never forget that, especially since it can apply to everything in medicine.

So for a laugh, I'll share a picture of one of the poor washcloths that has fallen victim to my practicing.  It's hard to see, but all edges are closed! (Plus there are a few aberrant stitches and knots for fun.)