BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU

A patient called me a dumbass today. I interpret that as him being ready to leave...except he has to go to a homeless shelter.

PULLING (PURSE) STRINGS

Patient's wife: "How much pull do you have to get us a different hospital room?"

Me: ..."I can't even get a tech to get VITALS on a distressed patient!!?"

Ok I didn't really say that but it was something a tiny bit on the sarcastic side.

....AND PLAY HARD

Day off! For the first time since July 1 I am essentially caught up on paperwork (there's always little stuff, and ill never get ahead), but hooray! Called for a celebration dinner at Bessingers BBQ. Otherwise I enjoyed just sitting around doing nothing, for the first time in a while.

IN MEDICINE, WORK HARD...

Sad day, one of the team's med students dropped the course for some remediation. I completely disagree about the decision and am frustrated that one person's opinion can have such severe consequences. Goes to show that even enthusiasm, hard work and exceptional intelligence doesn't always cut it.

DON'T JUDGE A BOOK...

Cross cover score! Several sequential nights with only 1 call for all of my patients!! It's my new goal, to not have any, ever. I actually enjoy cross covering...you're the only one there to make decisions. And most of the time they're easy fixes, like pain or nausea. Quick fix and you look like a hero!

A PAGE FROM THE BOOK OF A NEW INTERN

Disappointed to learn today that you still receive pages even when the memory is full (almost as disappointing as finding out- NOT from personal experience- that pagers float so there is no use throwing it in the toilet). First Gen Med call today and it was full by 1pm.

THE REAPING (...AKA MATCH DAY)

Match Day. It's a 50-year-old tradition that defines the transition between being just another person and a doctor. (Yes, hint of sarcasm, because it's downright crazy that one day you're nothing and the next day you're an M.D.)  I'd been planning on doing a short piece about the nuts and bolts of the Match (and a few personal opinions and grievances) and had an epiphany in the shower. (TMI, sorry!)

Forgive me for the frequent references to the Hunger Games when trying to describe medical school- it has just been such a great analogy.  If you haven't read it, shame on you. You won't get most of these references. And seeing the first movie doesn't count; it didn't do the book justice.

HOW THE RESIDENCY MATCH IS BASICALLY THE HUNGER GAMES' REAPING

• The reaping (Match) is an annual event that takes place in each district (medical school)

A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE

We all go through it at some point, thinking we have Guillain-Barre or diabetes or the plague. We even know those thoughts are irrational...but then something actually happens.

About two months ago, while wrapping up interviews, I noticed a prickly, tingling sensation in all 10 toes. At first I brushed it off- maybe my hose or heels were too tight, and I had been sitting for extended periods of time on airplanes. But it never went away-it was constant and in both feet.

My first thoughts, of course in panic, were diabetic neuropathy, a spinal cord lesion. Statistically, I knew that diabetes is extremely common, but I didn't have ANY other symptoms. And not only is my BMI a nice 21, I had recently started eating more healthily, nearly eliminating simple carbs and fats completely. I considered stopping by student health to have my blood sugar checked.

Stupidly, I googled it. I knew very well I'd run across crazy, rare diseases and freak out. Multiple sclerosis kept coming back up, and that almost seemed more likely than diabetes at one point. A resident I know was diagnosed recently and I couldn't get that out of my head.

After two weeks of parasthesia that quickly spread throughout both feet, I finally called my mom, a pharmacist. She quickly recommended getting some B vitamins in, because apparently oral contraceptives are associated with that (I had no idea, and have taken them awhile without problems). I had actually considered a vitamin deficiency early on and took them for a week or so without improvement so I stopped.

After about a month of vitamins, it finally went away. I guess between my "healthy diet" and OCP, I became a statistic. And I learned a really important lesson.

You can't objectively assess yourself. Going to the doctor sucks, but sometimes it's better than the alternative of getting much worse. I am even cautious about discussing medical issues with close family, because the closeness still impedes objectivity.

Also, healthcare professionals should take their own advice and not google their own symptoms.